


Just deserts

by Doccutroll



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doccutroll/pseuds/Doccutroll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After failing to keep Bo from hunting down Vex, Lauren needs to face the consequences. Set between 1x11 and 1x12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When she puts on her laboratory coat, she is a doctor and a scientist. Someone who heals and finds solutions. 

But when she takes off everything, she is nothing but a slave. A dog with a permanent collar around its neck. And she’s learnt from day one that in this world, there is no leniency for a pet who fails to do its master’s bidding. It was a lesson she should have never forgotten. 

It was naïve of her to think that she would get off scot-free just because no harm befell Vex. Later on, she would tell herself that she was probably too distracted with trying to mend things with the succubus, and too busy to clear _his_ name to think it through.

And so she was surprised when The Ash mentioned that he had decided on her punishment. It was not his fault, of course – a master had to be fair to all his pets. She should have been grateful that she hadn’t needed to pay with her life.

The fae were nothing if not efficient. She was given two days’ notice so she could finish her work and made sure that her assistants knew what to do in her absence. She was scribbling a ‘to do’ list for day 10 when someone appeared. 

As soon as she heard the word ‘hey’, she gritted her teeth. The succubus really needed to learn about timing. Instead of showing up when she begged and cajoled, Bo chose to visit after a week of radio silence. She paid no heed to the succubus and continued with her list. “What do you want, Bo?”

“Excuse me? What do I want? I thought you were the one who called. And stuff.”

“Yes, and I probably did that 50 times, but that was last month. I stopped a week ago. So, I reiterate – why are you here now?”

“I…I wanted to thank you for helping me out.” The succubus shuffled her feet. “With Dyson.”

“You’re welcome. Anything else?”

She could feel the succubus bristling, but she sat still and remained silent.  
“Fine. I’ll leave now. I just came here to see if you wanted to talk, you know, after you begged me to let you explain.”

“Again, that was a week ago. I’m busy now. Not everything has to be done according to your way, your schedule or your mood, Bo.” She glanced at her watch and wrote faster - they were going to come any minute now.

“I thought you excelled at taking instructions, like a good little pet.” Bo sneered. “I suppose everything should be done according to how your master wants it, including when, where, and _whom_?”

Lauren closed her eyes and put her pen down before she could break it. “Get out.”

“Oh, really?” Bo said. “I thought your orders were to please me. Maybe I should tell The Ash about this. I’m sure he could come up with a suitable punishment for that.”

“That’s a great idea.” Lauren finally looked up and walked towards the succubus. “I was just going to see him. Why don’t you join me? My hypothesis is you’ll have many topics in common.”

“In fact,” she said as she took off her laboratory coat and hung it behind the door, “here are my escorts. So unless you want to come along, I have to run now. My master’s calling for me, seems he wants to discuss my previous task. Maybe he needs _details_.”

Bo grabbed Lauren’s arm and snarled. “I trusted you, and you turned out to be –”

“Then you wouldn’t be too disappointed to know that I’ll be getting my just deserts now,” Lauren said calmly, shaking off Bo’s hand and walking towards the guards. “Just so you know, I trusted you too. Should have   
known better, I guess.”

“Me? What did _I_ do to you?”

Lauren stopped and there was a pause. “You reminded me that I should only ever count on myself.”


	2. Chapter 2

Bo ran. 

She ran like the time she accidentally killed Kyle, she ran like the thousand other times she awoke to corpses in her bed, and she ran like the time she was trying to catch Vex. She wasn’t a planner who would calm down and slowly, methodically strategize their next moves. She either charged – head on – towards something, or she went the other way just as quickly. 

And today’s destination was somewhere she’d been running from for the past month. 

\-----

One week after her encounter with Lauren, Bo noticed that Dyson was being more broody than usual. “What’s going on? I gave you a kiss when you came in, so it can’t be that.” She set a mug of Dyson’s favorite beer in front of him and teased.

“Nothing.” He smiled his thanks and took a mouthful. “Just having a hard time with this case, is all.”

“Wow, the amazing Detective Dyson’s met something he can’t solve? Perhaps this lady detective could help.” 

Dyson scoffed, closed the file and pulled her to him. “Hardly. We know who did it; I just need the Ash’s lab to give me the results so we’d have enough evidence to get a warrant.”

Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of the lab. She turned to play with the mug and feigned indifference as best as she could. “Do you need to pay a visit to Lauren then? I could go with you.” 

“That’s the reason for the delay – she’s not there.” This time, it was Dyson who averted his eyes and shifted his attention to the beer instead. 

“Oh? Where did she go?” Bo was glad that Dyson pulled out of their embrace – a human’s ears ten feet away could have picked up her heartbeat.   
“On leave. Ash’s business.” 

At that, Bo stopped asking further. _Probably in bed with someone else_ , she thought bitterly. 

That night, she was a little rougher than usual in bed with Dyson. She wasn’t sure if she was angry at Lauren’s treatment of her last week, or her going away without telling Bo, or if she was jealous at the thought of the doctor ‘treating’ someone else. 

\-----

Bo ran. As all her bitter and cruel thoughts about the doctor that night came back to her, she ran faster.

\-----

“Hey Hale, where’s Dyson?” The wolf got busier after that night, and when he failed to show up for their date for the second night that week, Bo decided to surprise him at the police station instead. 

“Oh man, sorry I forgot to tell ya.” Hale tipped his hat in apology. “Some thug broke his phone today and I was supposed to send you a message. He’s off at the lab chasing up the results.”

“ _Still?_ Lauren isn’t back yet?” Bo tried to mask her annoyance at the VIP task – or person – as impatience. 

“Nope. And the lab’s getting a little out of control.”

“Jeez. What mission is Lauren on that’s so important she can’t come back for a few days?” 

“Mission? Lauren ain’t on a mission,” Hale said. “She uh…she went underground for a few days.” 

“What do you mean?” She could tell that Hale was trying to backtrack, but she wasn’t going to let him off.

“Look, it’s not my place to talk about Lauren, okay? But the Ash…he has rules. When someone fails at a task…” Hale glanced up at Bo, hoping that she’d get the message. 

_“Fae elders don’t employ humans. They own them.”_

Bo stepped back, eyes widened in horror.

_“I can speak for myself.”_

_“When The Ash lets you?”_

“Say no more," the succubus whispered.

_“I thought your orders were to please me. Maybe I should tell The Ash about this.”_

She headed for the door and started running towards Lauren’s apartment. 

_I’m sure he could come up with a suitable punishment for that.”_

She ran for her life.


	3. Chapter 3

She couldn’t focus on anything else but her seemingly burning lungs as she stood at the door of Lauren’s apartment. Bracing herself, Bo gave the door three timid knocks, to find that it wasn’t shut.

 _Lauren doesn’t lock her door?_ She chalked that up for a later discussion with the doctor about personal safety. 

She stepped into the apartment quietly, taking in her surroundings. The place was immaculate, as she thought, and spacious, which was unexpected. Distracted by the new environment – _is that wallbush moving?_ – Bo forgot her mission until she heard a footstep behind her.

_Oh crap._

“Um, hi,” Bo said nervously. “Uh…Boston harpy right?”

The doctor’s assistant glared at her. “What are you doing here?”

 _Friendly as ever_. “I c-came to visit Lauren. I mean, Doctor Lewis.”

“She doesn’t need you,” Boston harpy said. “You should go. Before I call security.”

Bo, ruffled, was about to retort with a “you can try”, when she realized that a commotion was unlikely to help Lauren. The harpy seemed to know what happened, which meant she might remember that Lauren once helped Bo, despite recent events.

She crossed her fingers behind her and asked, “I only want to see if she’s okay, please?”

‘Boston’ stared at her for a few seconds and Bo gulped, making a note to ask Lauren later if her assistant had some fury genes in her.

“Fine. She’s resting – make sure you don’t disturb her.”

Relieved, Bo did a mock salute and ran up the stairs as quietly as she could. She tiptoed into Lauren’s bedroom and shame flooded her. The doctor was in bed alright – in bed incapacitated, and certainly not with anyone else. She sighed, sat on a chair beside Lauren’s bed and watched the doctor sleep, something she neglected to do after their night together.

She ran her eyes across the doctor, taking in the furrowed brow, the thin and angular face, the silky hair that was now limp and damp from perspiration, and the uneasy expression, even as she slept. She wondered if Lauren always slept like that, stressed and disturbed, or was it because of the…she didn’t want to finish that thought.

Trying to ease Lauren’s troubled sleep, she kissed the doctor’s knuckles, whispering, “I’m sorry I ran the other night, but I’m here now.” The succubus adjusted her chair, leaned back and watched Lauren, stroking her hand whenever she stirred.

She was awoken by Boston harpy the next morning, when the assistant came in with a tray of food and meds for the doctor. She indicated if she could take over and was glad that the harpy relented without another showdown. Shaking Lauren’s hand gently, she watched Lauren’s expression change from groggy to surprise, then to confusion, followed by horror.

“Hey,” Bo greeted softly, “how are you feeling? Time to take your meds.” She avoided the doctor’s eyes, choosing to grab a cup from the nightstand and feeding the straw to Lauren. 

“What are you doing here?” The voice was hoarse and quiet, but the message was clear. Bo wasn’t sure if the tone stemmed from exasperation or pain, but she soldiered on despite the hurt.

“I came to see you.”

“And you have. You can go now.” Lauren’s face grew red and hot – the one person from whom she tried to hide her status, the one person who saw her as a human and a friend, was seeing her at her lowest. She turned away, unable to bear it if she let the succubus saw her cry of shame.

“Lauren,” the hesitation in the succubus’s voice did nothing to qualm her stress. “Lauren, I’m sorry…for everything. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t mean what I said the othe – all the other times. I feel terrible.”

“Well go seek Dyson for comfort. Give him a big hug. But preferably not in front of me this time, if you could be so kind.”

Bo held her breath, feeling the sharp _cut_. However, she’s learned enough about the doctor by now to know that Lauren might be deceitful, she might be hurt, and she might be in pain, but she wasn’t _cruel_. She hoped that Lauren knew her well enough to realize that she was still a bull, and every bit as obstinate as one.

“I’m not going anywhere. Please let me make it up to you.”

“Suit yourself.” Lauren was too tired and in too much pain to argue or care. She took her meds but rejected the food, thinking that she’d rather go through a few more days of torture than let Bo spoon-feed her. Maybe she did care a little about what the succubus thought of her, after all, as she lay down, facing away.

Bo looked at the food and decided to save the battle for another time. Thinking that Lauren was asleep, she leaned back in her chair and breathed freely for the first time since she arrived. 

“Why did you come?”

Bo opened her eyes. “I told you. I didn’t know they would…” Mindful not to remind either of them of the punishment, she opted for a simpler, more straightforward reason. “I was worried.”

“I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

It was still for a few seconds, and Lauren’s heart nearly stopped with the fear that Bo’s silence confirmed her thoughts.

“I care.” The succubus’s tone was soft, and Lauren’s hand, still covered by Bo’s, twitched. 

With that, both of them – feeling a little more hopeful – slowly drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest (single) chapter fanfic that I’ve ever written. This chapter was supposed to cover a short talk between Bo and Lauren, but I realized it would have been terribly insufficient. We never got ‘the talk’ between them, or at least not one that directly addresses their disastrous night together, so this is my take on it. 
> 
> This ends the story - thanks for sticking around, I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts, or if you have a particular comment or disagree on something. I always welcome and cherish feedback.

They drifted in and out of sleep throughout the day, only getting up when Lauren’s assistant visited in the evening. As Boston Harpy – Sarah – updated Lauren on their work, Bo excused herself to get some water. Sitting on the sofa, she scrolled through seven missed calls from Dyson, five voice messages and four texts.

She also received a few from Kenzi, with the girl’s last text saying “HALE CAUGHT ME UP. REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR VAJAYJAY FROM THE SPECULUM’S CLUTCH THIS TIME.” 

Bo responded to that with a smiley face icon, then texted Dyson that she would call him when she was done. There wasn’t any point in pretending they didn’t know where she was – Hale would have told him, and she was still fuming over Dyson’s half-lie of the doctor taking “time off”. 

She got back to Lauren’s room to see Sarah help the doctor to the bathroom. She leaned on the door frame and watched, envious of the closeness between them, but relieved that the doctor had someone she could trust. Before Lauren noticed her, however, she stepped into the hallway and returned when she was sure Lauren was back in bed.

“Sorry, just replying some messages.” She smiled and waved the actually-switched-off phone at Lauren.

“You don’t have to stay, Bo.” Unlike the last time she said it, Lauren’s tone wasn’t laced with a sharp edge. “I appreciate that you came, but I’m better now, so you should get back to your life. Go home.”

Before Bo could think of a better reason than a pouty “don’t wanna”, the lab assistant spoke up: “She shouldn’t.” As Bo and Lauren looked at Sarah with wide eyes, she stammered, “Uh what I mean is…I already got dinner for her as well, so she should at least finish it.”

Bo grinned at her and mouthed her thanks, and when she saw Lauren smile, she made a note to send the harpy a takeout feast.

“So,” the succubus brought the paper bags to Lauren after Sarah left, “shall we see what’s for dinner?”

“You go ahead,” Lauren said and smiled to reassure the succubus that she was okay, “I’m not really hungry.”

“Oh.” Bo left the food on the table and returned to her chair, fearing that her visiting privileges would soon be revoked. “I’m not hungry either. I can wait.”

As if to protest, her stomach then growled. She was halfway through a silent supercalifragi-length curse when she heard a soft giggle from the doctor. Conceding with a bashful smile, she asked, “If I eat, will you eat with me? Just a little?”

As soon as Lauren nodded, she made a beeline for the takeout. She noticed that Lauren’s hands were still shaky when they started, so she concentrated on her food and only looked up after the chewing sounds ceased.

“You did well,” Bo said encouragingly as she took the plate from the doctor. “Wait.”

“Hmm?”

“Crumbs.” She reached to brushed them off gently, her shivering fingers lingering on Lauren’s cool face. She wasn’t sure if the Lauren’s cheek warmed up from her hand or from the doctor’s blush, but she kept it there, and was almost sure she felt Lauren nudge into her palm.

“Lauren,” she whispered, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that they would…what exactly did they do to you?”

“Lots of things.” With that, the doctor turned away, and Bo sat on the chair, keeping her hand on Lauren’s.

“I…your assistant told me you had difficulty walking. Did they…?” Bo held her breath, dreading the answer. She expected to be relieved if the punishment didn’t include a sexual element, or to go into a rage and beat The Ash into a pulp if it did, but she didn’t expect to hear Lauren laugh.

“The light fae pride themselves on being evolved and not stooping to ‘barbaric behavior’, which includes physical punishment,” Lauren said, gradually reverting to her professional demeanor. “They use much more refined methods, such as mental torture, or implementing techniques to make you feel like your whole being’s an exposed nerve – a thousand times more sensitive and the pain a million times more intense.”

Bo almost exploded from the conflicting emotions – she was glad there wasn’t any sexual abuse, but appalled at the seemingly ‘sophisticated’ torture methods, and fearful that Lauren could state what she went through so matter-of-factly. One particular feeling was consistent, however, and she expressed the sentiment over and over again, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. That they would do that to you.”

Lauren leaned on the bed frame and sighed. “The things you don’t know, Bo.”

“Well,” the succubus wasn’t backing down from that, “I would have known, if someone actually told me.” She lashed out and grabbed Lauren’s hand before the doctor could pull away completely. “I didn’t mean…that. I was talking about all the fae stuff, my mom, and Vex.”

Lauren relented but kept her eyes closed. “Bo, I only knew about Vex after your meeting with The Ash. But say we told you everything at the beginning, what would you have done?

“You would have gone after Vex, and he wouldn’t have surrendered, so you’d fight. He would have killed you, or you could kill him, and The Morrigan would then kill you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“You mean _we_ couldn’t let that happen. You and that asshat of a boss.”

“Fine, _we_ couldn’t let that happen,” Lauren said. “Look, Bo, there’s so much more you don’t know about the fae, and there are rules and customs dating to a long, long time.

“I admire your taking a stand and not letting anyone dictate the way you live, but being neutral doesn’t mean it’s carte blanche. If you want to live in this world, you have to at least know how things are done. What you do or say does have consequences.”

“How things are done…? Lauren, please just tell me. Is that what you do for him? Did he ask you to –”

“No.” It was soft and full of regret. “He’s never asked that of me. He implied there were ways to keep you distracted, but…no.”

“Then why?”

This time, the doctor looked right at her. “What I feel for you.”

“So it didn’t have anything to do with keeping me distracted?”

“It’s not that black and white.” Lauren sighed. “After what you said about picket fences and kids, I – that pulled me towards you. But I also didn’t want you to get hurt, so I did what I could. We were heading that way anyway.”

“But it _is_ black and white, Lauren.” The doctor was surprised by the wounded look on Bo. “You either slept with me with an agenda or you didn’t. I know you wanted to protect me, and I get what you meant about knowing the fae, but you can’t just make my decisions for me.

“And knowing you used that…strategy just shows what you thought of me – an animal who can’t overcome her primal instincts.”

“It’s not like that, Bo.” Lauren tried to get out of bed, grunting at the pain but pushing through it.

“Hey, where are you going?” Bo rushed forward stopped her. “Stay. Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you.”

“Stay here with me, please?” Lauren asked. The succubus complied, but fussed over the doctor before she settled down. Lauren placed her hands on top of Bo’s and said: “It’s not like that. I never factored in your nature that night, and I’ll never think of you as an animal. You’re capable of self-control, and I meant everything I said throughout your training. You’re not a monster.”

“That’s good to know, Lauren, but that’s the problem,” Bo said, lifting one hand to trace circles on Lauren’s. “You were the first person who told me that, you never judged me, and you made me feel I was normal. I felt something for you, but I hesitated for the longest time because you’re a human.

“And that’s why it hurt so much, because the moment I finally went for it…knowing we were heading that way only makes it worse.”

“Even if I know what you felt for me was real, the experience has been tainted.” Bo looked up and saw the doctor’s glistened eyes, but she wasn’t sure if the tears were hers or Lauren’s. “Lauren, it was special for me, for all those reasons, but it’s especially because you’re the first human I…

“For the first time, was hopeful. You were my first, Lauren.”

“I – ” the doctor lifted a hand to wipe her cheek, and Bo did the same for herself. “I’m sorry, Bo. I never thought about it that way,” she said. “If it means anything to you, it was special for me too. All of it, every day.”

“It’s okay now – I just wanted you to understand how I feel,” Bo said. “And yes, it means a lot to me. Is that why you didn’t tell me about your…status?”

“Something like that. I’ve been in this world for so long that I haven’t had to explain myself to an outsider for a while.”

“I would never have judged you,” Bo said as she placed her hand on Lauren’s shoulder, smoothing some of her wayward hair.

“I know, but sometimes…do you have words that are so ugly and bitter to you, that you fear they’ll burn a hole in your tongue when you say them?”

Bo nodded, knowing all too well from her experience. “But why? Why are you still here, knowing how they treat humans?”

The hesitation had found its way into Lauren’s voice again. “I can’t talk about that now.”

“Why? Lauren, you’ll tell me if your life is threatened, right? I can help you,” she tightened her hold on the doctor’s shoulders.

“I…I’m not ready yet, Bo. It’s not the right time.”

 _More secrets and omitted truths. It’s never the right time._ The succubus sighed and pulled her hands away. “I thought we were past that, but it seems that there are more things you can’t reveal. I guess nothing’s changed.”

“And you’re with Dyson now.” A statement.

“Yes.”

“You’re right about our impasse,” Lauren smiled in defeat. “I guess we really do have terrible timing.” She comforted herself that they’ve at least resolved things, even if only partially.

“We don’t need the right time to be friends though,” the succubus offered. 

“Really?”

“Why not? You could be my friend and fae-world tutor, and I’ll bring you coffee and stories to distract you from a dreary life in the lab.”

“Oh yes, you’re going to save me from the unfortunate world of science?”

“Hey, don’t make me quote Cyndi Lauper to you.” Bo wagged her finger in warning. “And maybe someday…”

“Someday.” For the first time in days, both doctor and succubus adorned smiles that reached their eyes.

“It’s getting late,” Lauren said. “You should get home.”

“I should.” Neither wanted to part, but their circumstances were now different. “But before I do, I just wanted to tell you I didn’t mean any of those things I said.” Bo placed her palm on the doctor’s face.

“I know.” Lauren nodded. “I’m sorry for everything too.”

“I know.” Bo leant towards Lauren, and their lips came together softly for a goodbye.

“Bo?” The doctor called out after they parted.

“Yep?”

“I hope it works out for you and Dyson, and that you’ll be happy. Really.”

“Thanks,” Bo said. “I hope the same for you too.” 

Despite the doctor’s protest, Bo tucked her in, citing “friendship duties” as a reason. “Be good and maybe I’ll tell you a nice bedtime story. Like the time I met another succubus.”

“What?”

“Yep. Hey settle down, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.”

“You’re coming again?”

“Of course. We didn’t have dessert tonight.”

“Oh? What do you have in mind?”

She gave Lauren a kiss on her cheek – a warm welcome to the start of their friendship.

“Why don’t you tell me what you feel like when I call to check on you? Whatever it is, I’ll make sure to bring you the best that I can find.”

_You deserve nothing but the best._

 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received some reviews from ff.net and thought I'd address some of the feedback here, in case someone has similar thoughts. Please feel free to skip the below essay. 
> 
> I write fic mainly to 'fill in the blanks', so I try as much as I can to stay close to canon, and weave the story to fit the prior and following episodes. Otherwise I write them as AUs or standalone one shots.
> 
> 'Just deserts' was particularly tricky, because there was little space to insert 'the talk' and still have the events flow coherently. So the idea for the fic is Lauren doesn't explain her entire situation to Bo, which means there's still room - if you squint and disregard 'on one condition' - for Lauren's "explain myself fully" and kiss in 1x13. Then The Ash got injured, so there was no time for talks, but they still become chummier in S2 because the situation was partly resolved.
> 
> I didn't anticipate this length when I started writing this fic, but Bo and Lauren were never meant to be together in the end. They did have something, but whatever happened happened, and they missed their chance. Dyson was Bo's first non-casualty relationship and she wasn't going to give up easily because she did have feelings for him. While the reasons surpass my understanding (I thought 1x12 was atrocious), it's still canon. And Bo wasn't going to let Lauren be a mistress, so that was the best scenario out of a shitty situation, for me anyway.
> 
> Thank you for reading the story and for your feedback, and I apologize if the ending wasn't to your liking.


End file.
